I’m so sick of hearing how perfectly simple it is to be a woman in the dating community. I’ve never been a dude, so I can’t say based on any personal comparison, but it is not, by any standard, fucking easy. I’ve now had several male friends tell me just how different it is and how much simpler it is being a chick. I will with 100% honesty claim that I could probably get laid any time I want to. The difference there? That’s not really my endgame. Hell, it’s not even my game. The people I actually care about wanting to sleep with (even if I’m not in it for a long haul) don’t necessarily want to sleep with me. I know, that sounds insane, right? But to be fair, my standards are high. They’re probably near impossible to reach at this point. And every moment I remain single, they get higher and higher, because I get to see and hear and interact with the slime that’s out there.
In the shortest amount of time, I have had such a strange variety of experiences. I have watched at least one friend turn into someone that was trying to step over the friendzone line, I have been handed the oh-so-suave line of not really “doing monogamy” (with a long-winded explanation that reflected significant relationship immaturity), I have had a drunk attorney tell me alllll about my “tits” and just what type of sexual experience he would be looking for from me, I have spent 5 awful days on Tinder feeling really depressed about the “fish in the sea,” (stay tuned for a blog post once I hit a full week and delete the shit out of that app) and I have felt incredibly old.
I have several friends that I’m sure would be interested in dating me, or just sleeping with me, and yet they’ve been my friends for a reason. I don’t want to date, or sleep with, my friends. I really don’t. I actually got handed the “want what you can’t have” card recently and it was the most offensive thing I’ve heard about myself in a long time (next to the obvious lying, cheating whatnot). I could see how, to this particular person, it might seem that way. It might be more about his projecting that on me than actually describing what he really believes about me, but I could also be using that logic to dodge the responsibility of it being possible.
Looks like I’m back in my head again. Constantly analyzing everything. I guess maybe it’s better that way. I stopped analyzing much the last four years, or maybe I was only analyzing the relationship aspect of the last four years, which was a detriment to it. In any event, the point I was originally trying to make was that it’s NOT easy, despite what many of the men in my life have said. If my goal was the same as (many of) theirs–to sleep with anything that walked–then I’d have it made. But my goals are vastly different. I don’t need a marriage proposal to have sex, but I sure as shit need someone that fits the intelligence, humor, attractiveness, openness, genuineness bill. Something I’m finding to be a ridiculously tall order.