I woke up this morning and, in an effort to keep any ninja rain that might come through out of my bedroom, I slammed my finger in a window. My first thought was, “if this is any indication of how this Foundations Exam/Comps is going to go, I quit now.” My second thought was that maybe it would be the yin and the yang of my day, so I’d better get moving.
The test itself was…exactly what I expected, I suppose. Two hundred questions is rather long, and I swear I’d never heard of a few terms that were on there (Intersubjectivity? Really?), but all in all, as a colleague described it, there were a bunch of questions I definitely knew, a bunch I definitely didn’t know, and the best I can hope for is that they balanced each other out and I passed. I’m not going to sit around brooding over how poorly I might have done when I might have done well; I’ll know when the grades get posted. I just don’t understand the point of running around saying “Well, I failed that.” I mean, to each his own, but I actually annoyed myself when I heard myself saying it after every test I took (and I wound up passing each and every one of them). So what purpose does it serve? Does it lessen the embarrassment later if you act like you’re expecting it? (“See, told you I did so bad I didn’t pass.”) Hindsight bias? Does it make you look or feel smarter if you don’t fail? (“Wow, I thought for sure I didn’t know nearly as much information as required to pass!”) A cognitive dissonance strategy of some kind, maybe? I don’t know, but I do know it doesn’t help anything to be so certain of failure. I’m not saying I passed, but I’m certainly crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. And I’m not going to be a Debbie Downer about it unless I know for sure that I failed. The embarrassment will be all the same at that time than it would be if I started preparing people for it today. But that’s just me. Again, to each his own, I’m sure.
I didn’t schedule my client, but I should definitely call them tomorrow and set it up for next week. I feel like I’m being completely selfish by taking the next six days off before the storm hits (classes, clinic & practicum), but I’m not going to get another break like this (and I have to read for the first day of classes anyway), so why not, right? Am I a bad person?
Now if those DAMN KIDS would go to bed already, I could re-open my bedroom window and not get a headache. Sheesh. Would I rather buses and ambulances over screaming suburban 6 year olds? At least the latter doesn’t go all night long. Then I’d have to kill them. Instead, I shall nap them away.