I’m mere pages away from being done with my psychopathology reading, but (rather coincidentally) I was interrupted by a FB message that entertained and annoyed me all at once. Here I am, reading about rumination and gender differences (IN FAVOR OF WOMEN, MIND YOU), and Mr. Rumination himself, who has deleted me for the second time in two weeks, feels the need to ask me why I re-friended him after a year or two (or what-the-fuck-ever). The truth, Freakazoid? FB is no big thang to me, as are a majority of my acquaintance-ships. Do I care what’s going on in those peoples’ lives? Sure, to some extent, and hopefully the same extent that they care about mine: enough to drop by every once in a while and go “ooh! I agree with you on that!” or “hey, funny post! hope all is well!”
This is the nature of socialization in the technological age. Sure, not everyone’s life is consumed by readings, tests, classes, clinic, practicums and seminars, but even those people who just go to work, go home, eat dinner and rest in front of the tv until bedtime don’t give a shit about constantly needing to keep up social contacts. Maybe this is the difference between having 30 friends and having 4, but I will never in my entire life have time enough for everybody. I’m just happy the friends I have accept that about me (wave for the blog, Astorians!).
So, basically, I re-friended because my iPhone told me I had 6 bajillion unread messages in my FB inbox and I went through all of them to make the little number icon disappear. In doing so, I came across our old messages and thought, “I’m sure things have changed. I know my life has changed drastically; I’m sure it wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t really handle a friendship. After all, we were pretty good when he was being sated.” In short, it was a stupid mistake, since you need to know the answer to why I got back in contact with you so badly. I made the same stupid mistake I used to make with ex-boyfriends: I focused on the positive and ultimately neglected to remember the negative. According to Gotlib & Hammen, that’s how people obtain the best life satisfaction, by the way, you should give it a go. Anyway, I didn’t think a person could attempt to exercise control from 3,000 miles away and I was unaware expectations for friendship from such a distance could still be maintained. I suppose, at the end of the day, our definition of friendship differs. And that’s fine, so long as we don’t try to be in one, together, at the same time.
Peace out, crazydude. I promise there won’t be another “friending.” Ever.