Monthly Archives: July 2009

A night with the only man in my life.

Before he got home, y’know, from camp, I showed up at the house while the sun still shone brightly.  The first thing I usually do when I get outside is check the temperature of the pool water, and seeing it was nice and warm, and no one was home, I decided to have a 4pm swim.  My favorite dog of my lifetime (I guarantee you, there will be none I love more), Casey, was my absolute best friend, as she swam right along side me, for close to a half an hour.  Every time I did a lap, she jumped in and followed me.  It was absolutely amazing; I’d never seen her swim so much–she usually just jumps in, swims a lap and gets out for a little while.

Out of nowhere, the sky turned a dark gray, and I told Case it was time to call it quits.  I hopped out of the pool, toweled myself off best I could, then towled Case off.  We weren’t in the house 5 minutes before the rain began.  Close call.  Dad showed up a few minutes later, and after changing, I took the opportunity to do my nails (my own little mani/pedi) until Little Man and Wicked Stepmother came home.  The ‘rents left shortly thereafter, so I took KJ to Micky D’s for some chicken nuggets.

After dinner, he helped me set up for cookie baking, then taught me how to bake cookies in his house (how to use the mixer, where the level is).  He measured out the flour and cracked the eggs for me.  Then he helped me do the dishes, my little clean-freak in training.  By the time I was just about finished cleaning, he was laying around with Blankie with droopy eyes.  I checked the clock and it was near 9, about an hour or so past his bedtime.  So I got him into PJs and set him up on the couch, watching Avatar.  He told me he had a spot next to him on the couch for me, and I promised to sit with him within minutes, as soon as I had finished cleaning up from the cookies.  Not five minutes later, he was out cold.

I spent the next 45 minutes or so straightening up the house, as a courtesy to Dad and Lynn.  During this time, I watch KJ start to roll over.  Assuming he would realize what was going on, I continued watching.  He. Fell. Off.  Running over to him, I picked him up and laid him back down on the couch.  I finally get a chance to sit down, and Dad and Lynn walk in the door…with ice cream.

…and that pretty much brings us to now.  I’m enjoying stand-up Friday and debating between Clash of Kings and World of Warcraft, but I’m kind of tired, so I think WoW’s gonna win.  Maybe I’ll grab a beer.  I realized about an hour and a half ago that I went through an entire Friday night without a beer…weird.  I should probably fix that.


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Babies, SEA, writers and pie.

The yin and yang of my day, as it were.

I work for a while. Yay. I call Casey, and there’s no need to come out to help move. Yay x2. (Well, that one’s a little more serious than the first.)  I get home and try to watch A Raisin in the Sun, but fall asleep for two hours.  I wake up, bike ride to Venetian Shores, which was quite a nice ride in the dark.  I stop at Boston Market for a chicken sandwich and potatoes (trying to be healthy here, peoples), when I get asked, rather obnoxiously, why I’m eating alone.  I shrug and smile.  Next thing I know, Mr. Obnoxious is shoving apple pie in my face, telling me I shouldn’t be eating alone.  Quite frankly, it defeated the purpose of the bike ride (and the potatoes in lieu of the mac & cheese), but it made my evening…for a few minutes.  pie.

I stopped at CVS on my way home and picked up some cleany things, and then I made the stupid mistake of heading to the computer.  Shoulda went straight to cleaning.  Shoulda put some music on and danced around.  Shoulda put the movie back on.  Shoulda read a book.  But no- I had to see pictures of Liz and Rob’s bastard child.  This poor, pathetic, overweight, fucked up little creature is going to be alive someday.  Two people who should never have been allowed to breed, have.  This is what Chris was referring to: the idiots breed like fucking bunnies while the smart people think things through and decide when a child is best and can be cared for properly.  “Baby Jimenez” is going to have a lazy, fat, broke father and an overbearing, angry, psychopath mother.  Poor thing was doomed before it was conceived.

So then, looking to gchat for diffusion, I read that Chris is Seattle-bound.  My vacation this year? Philly.  His vacation?  Fucking Seattle.  He’s happier now than he ever was before, and it’s because I’m not there.  God damn do I make everything fucking miserable.

But in my minute of need, I get a text from Cory that he will be unavailable to get together this weekend, but he would like to next week.  I bound him to at the very least a phone call.  I guess that was supposed to be a pick-me-up.  I think it came perfectly timed as I was perusing Mike’s Facebook page, wondering if I missed him.  (‘Cause a small part of me does.)  I’m too busy for Cory; Cory is too busy for me — even if we decided we liked each other.  It’s quite perfect, and utterly depressing.

Vocabulary?  I don’t think so.  Try cleaning, tv, and WoW.  I have turned into the very thing I hated.  Can’t wait for school to start, so I have excuses not to waste my time with movies and television.

Maybe I’ll have a drink too.  That should hold me until tomorrow, when things better be fucking better.

Addendum, 6/22/10: I guess I needed to get that out.  I no longer feel that way about any of the people involved in the life of a likely beautiful, very much loved baby girl.  Knock ’em dead, Kaylee.

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Vocabulary a la diner.

Look, I needed me some pancakes, okay?! Lay off!

Anyways, I re-studied my 100 vocab words and added 15 more while enjoying some delicious pancakes, bacon & coffee while being served by my waitress, (none other than) Linda.  She sucked, however, so she only got a $2 tip.  Then again, that was on a $9 bill, so all in all I guess she made out in the deal.

Here’s my 15 newest words.  I don’t always have a way to remember these fuckers, and sometimes the way I do doesn’t exactly make sense, but who cares–so long as I learn ’em, right?

1. umbrage — sense of injury. My link?  I think people wearing Umbro clothes are usually playing sports and thus are often injured. Yeah, I’m weird.  And stuck in the 90s.

2. prescience — knowledge of events before they happen. Pre = before.  Science = well, science.  Knowledge.  So “knowing before.”

3. licentious — wanton. What’s funny is I don’t know what either of those words mean.  So having looked them [both] up, I get a cross between lacking legal restraint and disregard of sexual restraints.  All I can say is that I knew there was a reason I liked this word so much.

4. Plethora — excess; superabundance. Yay! Knew it already!

5. Loquacious — talkative. Even though the prefix refers to speech, I still will have trouble with this one.  All I can come up with is Loki being talkative, but even that’s a stretch.

6. Porous — full of pores.  You go, GRE book.  You go.

7. Penurious — excessively sparing in the use of money. I simply have to think of Ian as cheap.  ‘Cause he likes pens.  Like a lot.

8. Laconic — brief and to the point.  I have only been able to come up with using the ‘con’ in laconic to denote ‘concise.’

9. Ubiquitous — being present everywhere. I don’t know that it’ll work, but I just auto-assume ‘omnipresent’ when I see the word.

10. Portend — foretell. The words are kind of the same.  Por = for.  Tend = tell.  Simple enough.

11. Latent — dormant. Latent dream content or latent memories.  Yay psych studies!

12. Precipitate — rash; premature. I think of a rash based on weather conditions.  Or poor prediction by the weathermen/women.

13. Precocious — mature at a young age. I’ve previously misused this word and had to look it up several times, so I think now I’ve got it down.  Well, I hope.

14. Precarious — perilous. You’d care if there was danger, wouldn’t you?

So there either isn’t a 15th word tonight (which doesn’t makes sense because there are 115 in total), or I can’t figure out which other one I learned an hour ago.  I guess maybe it’s better that way.  Did I write down ‘platitude’ already?? I can’t remember…

Oh! So I registered for the GRE, scary as it is to think/say/type/remember that.  $150 friggen dollars to spend four hours of my life taking a test.  I am a moron, for certain.  I seriously think schools should pay students to take the damn thing, seeing as they get so much money from them (or their parents, or their lenders).  The Psych GRE has available dates 10/10/09 and 11/7/09, then not again until April of 2010.  By the time I take those though, I have to have up to 4 schools that I want all my scores sent to, which means I actually have to have applications ready to go.  How the hell am I going to juggle 5 classes, 20 hours of work, RA work, researching and applying to grad/PhD programs and taking the Psych GREs all at the same time?  And lord help me if I get the job at the psychiatrist’s office.  December is going to kill me, I fear.  Between end-of-the-year authorizations, potential end-of-quarter work for Dr. K, applications and finals and holidays, I’m shaving years off of my life –especially now that I don’t even have smoking as a vice (aside from three drags of two difference cigarettes on Saturday, I have been smoke-free for 23 days).  I can’t even take only 4 classes and do the RA work because I’m not allowed more than 6 credits in a single lab, and I’m up to 4 in Dr. Aron’s.  Lame.  Well, aside from BioPsych, I don’t know that any of my courses will be particularly difficult, though I say that every semester and most all of them kick my ass.  Okay, stress levels rising.  Need to think about something less serious now.

I think I’ll go throw the Daily Show on in the background and so some (almost) midnight cleaning.  Peace, ya’ll.

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Lost like car keys.

Why are all the boys I had crushes on in high school that would now pay me the time of day fat?  Where the fuck did the lean guys go?  Oh, right, off to the foam party at the Boardy Barn with their whore girlfriends.  Most of me hates everything about that life and those type of people.  A small part of me knows that were I that type of person, I’d be happier because I’d be ignorant.

I’m not really in the mood for vocabulary tonight.  I had a bit of a long day, despite the fact that it was not exactly overwhelming.  Work was, but I didn’t turn the phone on and I was alone in the office, so I got a good solid four hours of work done.  Then I hiked across part of the island to Jule’s where we immediately shared a midday snack (mozzarella and spinach dip with sun-dried tomato crackers) and some piña coladas.  We then had fake naptime where we did nothing for all of a half hour, and eventually headed out to K-Mart to get cat food for Leslie and dog food for Bella.  Following the fun of that trip, we dined at Hotoke where we shared a California Roll and ate yummy hibachi.  I had ordered steak & shrimp, but our slightly less-than-talented chef did not realize this (despite asking me before he began cooking), and I wound up with all three (chicken, steak & shrimp).  Silly as it was, it made me happy.

I’m still torn between wanting to be alone and asking Cory to either pancakes (well, diner) or a walk on the Jones Beach Boardwalk tomorrow.  I really don’t want to get into anything new (like, really really don’t), but I don’t want to lose him a third time on account of the same stupid shit.  Sadly, I can’t find the letter he wrote me back in ’00.  It was the best, most romantic (comedy) thing anyone has ever written me.  It haunts me every day that I am unware of it’s hiding place.

Well, it’s about midnight, and I need to be getting a few things done right quick before bed, so until the ‘morrow…

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Vocabulary pick-up.

Okay. Back to the drawing board…not that I can draw.  Though Cory is a nice inspiration for not being able to draw.  ANYways… new words time.

1. Lucid — easily understood; clear. I started with an easy one to re-acclimate myself.  Having learned what lucid dreaming is, I’ve got this one down.

2. Malingerer — one who feigns illness to escape duty. I happen to love this word.  Don’t ask how I’m going to think of Eminem when I think of this word, but I will, and I will automatically associate it with the line, “Teacher! Teacher! Quick I need a naked nurse? What’s the matter? I dunno, my leg-it hurts! Leg? I thought you said it was your tummy. Oh, I mean, it is, but I also got a bum knee. Mr. Mather, the fun & games are over. And just for that stunt you’re gonna get some extra homework. But don’t you want to give me after-school detention? Naw, that bully wants to beat your ass, and I’m gon’ let him.” ❤ you, Em.

3. Malleable — pliant. For some reason I learned this word in association with a ball-peen hammer.  I don’t know how or when or why, but it’s stuck in there, in my brainspace, already known.

4. Maverick — rebel; non-conformist. HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Two names: John McCain and Sarah Palin.  ‘Nuff said.

5. Mendacious — untrue. How do we mend frienships? We LIE to save our asses.

6. Metamorphosis — change of form. Several ways to remember this, but my favorite is the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

7. Meticulous — over-cautious. I think of this in the detail-oriented form.  I’m pretty meticulous.  But it’s more an obsessive-compulsive thing than it is caution.

8. Misanthrope — one who hates mankind. I’m changing this word to Misanthroke. Because if you take out the shit in the middle, it becomes Mike, and Mike hates mankind.

9. Nefarious — extremely wicked. The GRE book had used this word in reference to a wizard, so I now associate wicked wizard with nefarious.  Odd connection, considering the first thing I think when I hear ‘wizard’ is Zedicus.

10. Mundane — worldly. Well that’s a nice way of putting it, GRE peoples.  I still automatically think of boring, but hell, at least I’m automatically thinking of something correct.

11. Modicum — a small amount. I picked easy words tonight, I guess.  I already kind of think of a modicum of doubt, or something similar, but if I’m still having trouble, I can always think of…well…cum.  Fourtunately, I’ve never encountered gushers, so a small amount is about right.  ‘Specially when you’ve swallowed more than you’ve spit.  I’m so grossed out right now.

12. Mollify — to soothe. This connection is going straight to a fomer manager of mine, Molly.  She was so soothing, she used to tell mendacious tales just to relate to people so they would feel comfortable and have a good dining experience.  She was creepy and bulimic.

13. Mitigate — to lessen in intensity or appease. I think of litigation.  Now I also think of mendacity, because I have a tendency to lie when appeasing. So mendacity + litigation = mitigation.

14. Mordant — biting. Morbid? Vampires? Biting?

15. Morose — ill-humored; sullen. Good thing I know this one too, ’cause I can’t really think of any good relatable ideas for this one.

So as a quick review of the last few days:

Thursday I went to work, twice (Lake Success and Wantagh), then drove over to the Beer Garden for 2 pints and some bratwurst.  Had a really horrible night after dropping a tiny present off at Chris’s, but got over it, obviously.

Friday I worked and was told I was exceptionally bubbly over the past few days.  I said I thought it had something to do with being alone, ’cause it’s what I really need(ed?), but it turns out I realized today that it was because I wasn’t overwhelmed.  Needless to say, I’m not bubbly today.  After work I went to my dad’s and played with KJ and had beer margaritas with Lynn and played some WoW.

Saturday I worked for about four hours in Wantagh, came home to read in the sun for two hours and nap, then trekked out to Astoria again to party for Christine’s Singapore Excursion.  Played darts with Ross (we were team LIRR–that was not nice of Raab, namer of teams), Raab and Beth (team: Thundercats.  Asshole.)  Managed to get home by about 3:30.

Sunday woke up at 7:45 to prep and head out to Alex & my casino trip.  We drove out to Orient, got on a ferry to New London, then were bussed to Mohegan Sun where we shopped and gambled and ate (and in my case, drank bloody marys) for six hours.  I lost about 120 bucks, but Alex found me some herbal tea for crappy throats and I got a rabbit’s foot.  Please note how utterly excited I was by this rabbit’s foot.  It’s an instantaneous link to my childhood for some reason.  As a matter of fact, I have to go look up what the hell that scent is anyway, so I know what I’m addicted to.

Lastly, today was an incredibly busy and hectic four hours of work (in which I tried to maintain my patience, but am not sure how well I did), followed by a sadly difficult Skype meeting between myself & Sue (at Sue’s place) and Kat.  In an hour and a half we made it through 15 love defenitions (we’re categorizing).  There are about 1000 in total.  I have until Sunday night to code another 135.  FML.

Notes to self:
– look up rabbit foot scent
– send Alex the names of those places we wanted to look up
– find someone to donate extremely old encyclopedias to
– tell Meryl I can’t make it on the 8th ’cause I’ll be in Philly with Jesse at ‘Stine’s.  Damn.

And for now… watch the rest of Coraline (fell asleep to it last night) and file some shiznit paperwork sitting in a box.

Tomorrow: work in peace & quiet in Lake Success from 10-2, then head to Jule’s for pina coladas and hibachi.

Y’know, reading back, my life doesn’t suck.  It’s just overwhelming sometimes.

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Things I learned tonight.

1. I still look good in a mini skirt.

2. Sam avoided me like a five year old trying to get out of eating his last chicken nugget.  Which just makes me believe I’m a bigger person than he, because I was man enough to acknowledge his existence, mostly be giving him a hug hello.  Douchebag.  Here’s a note: I faked it every time.  Also, knowing he made my mom’s skin crawl helped me get over it much faster.

3. Chris never said so much as ‘thank you.’   Sure that makes me sad, but it’s also an eye-opener.  Hope it lasts.  Doubt it will.

4. I will miss Christine terribly.  Good thing I get a final good-bye from Philly in two weeks.

5.  I never leave when I say I’m going to leave.  I’m home about 2 hours later than I expected to be.

Gambling and drinking all day on the ‘morrow.  Night!

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Vocabulary hiatus.

I’ve taken a few days off, mostly because I learned about 100 new words in a week.  As it is 2:45 in the morning, this will be short and (not so) sweet.

I cried for the first time in months tonight.  “Fortunate Fool” played while I dropped off my likely to be soaking wet belated birthday mini-present tonight.  My memory won a battle and made for bawling like a little girl.  It’s over now though.  I played WoW for two hours, and even though I’m the highest level n00b to ever play, I lose reality in that game, and that’s all I really want sometimes.

I hit level 73, and I did it mostly on my own (well, past the first 60 levels wherein I followed Kolodrin).  Sam helped a little, Rob helped a little, Mike helped a little, but mostly, I did it, and want to do it by myself.  I didn’t realize it before, but WoW is really “me” time.  I keep thinking about leaving the guild.  I don’t belong there.

Anyway, I’m going to let Lord Eddard lull me to sleep now.  I must still be ‘down,’ ’cause I need more fantasy.


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