What am I, stupid?

I let you “have a chance.” For what?

I let you know everything I was afraid of.

I let you see how silly and how crazy I really am.

I lied to one of my absolute best friends, because you convinced me it was a good idea. Now we’re not even speaking, and I don’t know how to fix it, or what exactly is broken. But I know he’d make me forget about you.

I actually cared. This is new. I haven’t given a shit about anything in five months.

And what’d you do? The same thing you said you wouldn’t; the same thing that is your “nature.” But I knew all along, I just didn’t want to believe it. As soon as this is cleared from my system: never fucking again. (Not that I’m never fucking again, just that I will never get this involved with anyone. Ever.)

Everyone told you not to do that to me; I’m a good girl. But since when have you listened to anyone, really.

Do I need to find a new WoW guild? Can I just leave you on ‘ignore’? Can I ever LARP again? No need to worry about gchat; you’re successfully avoiding that well enough for both of us.

Today’s funny dictionary word is “naive.” I feel like the universe is laughing at me.

“I look at the ground
and give the sky the middle finger.
Something inside said
‘Here’s a day you should remember,
so mark it on a wall.’

I never believed it could happen to me;
something like this only happens to dumb girls;
taking themselves too seriously;
I was so damn smart,
I was the one girl
who never believed it could happen to me.
Something like this only happens to somebody else.”

Dumb Girls, by Lucy Woodward


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