Feelings on life ATM…

Busy. oh god, yes, busy. Buddhism. Mahayana Buddhism. A paper on Mahayana Buddhism. About emptiness. Everything is empty, including emptiness. Has this brought me down? Can it? It’s supposed to be enlightening. We are part of interdependent processes. Just when I thought I was okay at independence.

History. War history. Immigration history. Whaling history. This should be interesting right? Why is this my minor? It’s just boring. I don’t want it to be boring.

Ryan. Drunk Ryan. Drunk Ryan text messages compounding a Sam and Tim infested day.

I don’t mind Sam, but I should. For all the right reasons. Shady. But smart. Funny. Open. Real. Pretty eyes. (Should LARPer sway me?)

Tim…pretty blue eyes. Creepy, though? I still can’t tell, but I can tell I don’t want to date him. Is that fair? Am I being unfair? Does that matter?
…promised some tea. Won’t buy me dinner, just tea. But bought roses. Trade-off? Again, does it matter?

Work. Lake Success…MY office. Sharing my office with a new person. Meryl. I don’t know her, but I don’t trust her. I will no longer go into things as I left them, but things as she left them. I am not pleased by this, but it is necessary.

Flash drive fail. Videos gone. School notes gone. But I’m not upset. Because there is nothing I can do about it. It is what it is, and it is unfortunate.

Birthday present: desktop microphone. Almost secret-admirey, but Mike confessed that shipping people suck and there should have been a note. For guitar playing/singing…but I think I need to hold the button down on the mic. Problem?

Birthday. Fleetwood Mac with someone I used to be close with. Alcohol necessary. Saturday, hiking with strangers? Former co-worker’s daughter’s local dance competition? Work? Dinner with mom? dad? Rich? Other Rich? See Cousin Scott? Call Aunt Eileen, who keeps bugging me to. Tim in Boston. Necessary break. When do I get to level Aeveron and watch movies? Should it be about me? If it’s about me, I’m going hiking. I want the first thing I do at 27 to be meeting up with a group of strangers (meetup.com thing) and saying, “hey. I want to hike. Let’s do this.” Then going home, cleaning myself up and hitting up the Watchmen by myself. I want to do both of those things…things I wouldn’t before. How’s that lyric go? “the old me is dead and gone but the new me will be alright.” Yeah.

Guitar playing/singing. Tom & I had a single jam session (#2 tomorrow?). I wish I knew more. I wish I had more time to practice/learn more. But I wish to do well in school more than that.

Tattoo. Birthday present to me? Why can’t I muster the balls for it? Maybe Dawn will force me on Sunday. Or maybe I’ll convince her to have lunch with me instead.

Chris. Still there. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.


1 Comment

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One response to “random.

  1. Christopher John

    Is that implying that you would like to erase me from your memory? :p

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